Realizing Life--Every, every minute.

Life is an Odd....Peculiar....Thing.

2009-09-23T15:11:00.005-04:00

Life is really hard to describe. I don't know why so many people try to describe it. Nothing against all those amazingly smart people who have come up with all those amazingly smart quotes about life that you read and say, Huh, I can see their point. But, I've read a million quotes about life...and I have yet to find one that can be applied to life at all times. Because life really can't be compared to anything. It's just one of those things that is. How can that be described? Life can't be described by the Periodic Table of the Elements. Or by Sigman Freud. Or by Bach, or Wagner, or any other musician, living or dead. Life can really only be taken for what it is. And what is it?

It's what we make it.

2009-09-20T21:18:00.002-04:00

I'm not sure what to call this post...I think it's kinda just me getting caught up with me. In the rush of everything it's really hard to stop and actually think. I suppose that's why people always think I'm so "out of it" or "depressed" or "angry"....because I'm not really. I'm just thinking. This happened just a few minutes ago while I was baking cookies.

Recently, I dyed my hair back to it's original color: brunette. I've gotten varied responses to it. I've been told that I "should've stayed blonde...the brown looks weird" and that "it doesn't look brown" as well as "why the heck did you do that?"....and then there's the facial expressions that say the same thing. On the other hand, I've had the people who tell me that they "love it!" and that i "don't look fake" and that it's "gorgeous" "beautiful"....etc.

Also, I've been asked quite a few times Why? I dyed my hair back. Well, the thing is....I wanted to. But for most people, that answer isn't enough...and you can see them process in their brain "Why would she just do it because she wants to?? There has to be another reason....she must want to be like someone else.." I've also been asked "Did you do it to be like someone else?" "Did you do it to be like [fill in random person's name here]" It doesn't occur to people that people do things because they want to anymore.

Why do people think that people are always trying to be like someone else? People asked me if I'm changing to be like someone else.....Little do they realize, I'm just becoming me again. This is hard to admit, but, for the past couple years....I haven't really been true to myself. I realize that now...looking back. I've been trying so hard to fit in with how other people want me to be that people think that really is me. And that's not me. So I did dye my hair because I want to. And people don't realize that.

"If you don't stand for something. you'll fall for anything."

I'm not sure what this has to do with my hair...but somehow, I feel it does. Lately, I've been going through a time of figuring out who I am. Self-realization, I suppose. And I realized, that more often than not, teens [and adults for that matter] are falling for anything. Because they don't know who they are, where they're going, and who they want to be. But many of those teens don't have what I have....the Gospel. So, why should I fall for anything if I do have something to stand for? I have to stand for me. The Gospel. And, most importantly, God.

Why are we falling for anything when we have so much to stand for?

Why are we falling when we should stand?

"Baby, are you down, down, down, down, down..."

2009-09-01T21:23:00.003-04:00

Haha....one of my favorite songs ever! But anyways, the life is crazy right now! But awesome!

One of the things I am MOST thrilled about is...FOOTBALL SEASON IS HERE! YAY! I am a die-hard High School/College football fan! Went to the LE game last Friday! LE won against White Knoll 34-0!!! WOOP WOOP! Haha...it DOES help my obsesh with football that a LOT of football players are good-lookin'. :) Just sayin'!

I am officially going back to dance! I am going to be helping with a 3-4 year-old class and I am also going to be taking class! YESS! I am sooo excited...."And I just can't hide it!" Haha...I'm a little apprehensive about going back after a whole year of break....but I think I can do it! Just pray for me. I have a feeling I'm gonna need it. :) Thanks.

School's going great...but I'm slightly frustrated at myself...I just HAD to open my big ol' mouth! I said I wanted colder weather....well, I got it. Only problem is....it's not the kind I like! I like it to be freezing or burning up...NOT IN THE MIDDLE!!! Haha....But actually, it's not that bad....let's just make it a little cooler, eh?

Well, I love you people! <3

Music....

2009-08-22T14:58:00.001-04:00

Wow....I know it's been a looooong time (hah, understatement) since I last posted anything....Facebook has sucked me into its vortex. But anyways...I just wanted to comment on Music. Music is SUCH a wonderful....It can get you through anything......As I always say:

MUSIC IS LIFE!!!! And Life is Music....

Yay!!

2009-07-08T16:18:00.001-04:00

Ok...so I'm happy because of the "technology" we have nowadays....Dang...I'm sounding old. Anyways, it's actually kind of amazing how much easier life is because of all the technology we have. Like, I rememeber when having a computer at home REALLY started being the big thing. And everybody had one. And now I look at all this modern technology that keeps coming out and it's like, We've come a loooong way. I don't blame "older" people (no offense to ANYONE!) for being apprehensive about the new technology. Cause I would be too if I hadn't grown up with it...well, I AM growing up with it...But ya'll get my point. I wonder how shocked we would be if we traded places with people from the 1700's. Talk about Culture Shock. I couldn't imagine not having the modern conveniences of cell phones and iPods and computers and...lightbulbs(!) for that matter. I can hardly imagine walking into a room and having to go light a lamp or candle instead of just flicking a switch. And living without air conditioning? And cars? Uh-uh....Not me. Sure, the "olden" days may have been nice....but I think I'll stick with my 2000's thank you. But then again....the 60's wouldn't have been too bad....but that's another story.

Another Update....

2009-07-08T12:16:00.001-04:00

Welp....Not too much going on in my life lately. The fourth went pretty well....spent it with the Fam. Um...School's still school.... Same old, same old. But.....I'm am sooooooooo extremely PUMPED for...

efy!!

Like seriously....I've got about a week and a half til I go...And I'm sooo excited! And thrilled! And all that good stuff! I've been shopping with JP and we've been getting all prepped and everything. :) It's been so much fun! And sooo much work! It's prolly just gonna get worse as we get closer! But it's worth it! :D WOOT! I'll keep ya'll updated as time FLIES by! Love you all!

Update....

2009-06-15T16:59:00.002-04:00

Hey Everybody! So, I totally would've posted as soon as I got home from camp, but our computer has been down until today...Hallelujah it's back up! (Can't survive without it.) Anyways...

Camp was....Camp. :) Fabulous activities and oh-so-wonderfully HOT! Pictures should be coming as soon as I get my lazy butt around to uploading. (Haha...) Camp gave me wonderful allergies and great new inside jokes...as well as the cup game and "Tipsy!" Camp also gave me new spiritual insight. Overall, it was great! I Love you Capt. K!!!

Soo....Today, I've been enjoying (?) this hot weather. Just like all weekend. Nothing much new. Hoping for a thunderstorm tonight...I have yet to meet someone who doesn't like summer thunderstorms. Ready to curl up with a good book, some chocolate ice cream, and hearing some rain drops. Later, ya'll....

WOOT WOOT!!!

2009-06-10T10:24:00.002-04:00

So everybody...Tomorrow I'll be leaving to go to...Girl's Camp!! (I know ya'll will just miss me terribly!) Honest-to-goodness though...I'm absolutely thrilled! Most girl's DREAD Girl's Camp because you're without all your "comforts" (we get it MUCH better than the guys though!) like curling irons and straighteners and your nice fluffy bed....and air-conditioning. (Supposedly, we have that....but it doesn't make much of a difference when it's 100 degrees outside and you have screen doors...yeah..Tell me the logic in that one.) But even through it all...I LOVE IT! There's something about all the chaotic unorganized organization that I love! Not to mention...I get to be with all my besties!! :) Haha....but seriously...i LOVE GIRL'S CAMP!!!!! (note: i will remember *jazz hands* in our skit!! haha...) As Tigger says:

"The great outdoors beckons!!"

These are not our cabins....I like our cabins though! Even with the whole AC thing...hahaha. ;)

Now, Tonight

2009-06-08T21:19:00.003-04:00

Jesus, will you hold me,
for I need you now, tonight.
I feel alone, I can't go on,
without your perfect, heavenly light.

Jesus, will you hold me,
and wrap me in your perfect love.
I need it more than ever,
your strength from above.

Jesus, will you hold me,
when I feel so out of reach.
I'm longing to feel your arms,
wrapped around me.

I need you more than ever, Lord,
and to know you love me.
Please help me get through this night.
Jesus,
Will you hold me?

"Now Tonight" -Mari

Whoopsie Daisie...

2009-06-05T18:26:00.002-04:00

Hey ya'll! Yes...I know I've been a little slack lately...sorry! But trust me, I won't be slack during this summer! Nope Nope Nope. Actually, I'll prolly have TOO much to talk about! (Who me? Naw....) Ha ha...Anyways, life's been a little crazy lately with Graduation and School (lots and lots) and just life in general. Not to mention...trying to have a "normal" summer even though I am still in school. But I'm still alive! (Hah...hopefully I will be at the end of all this!) :P Love ya'll!

2009-06-01T11:40:00.003-04:00

This is the end of our road,
now separately we must go.
Through life's trials and troubles,
without you,
I feel they're doubled.

This road with you has been,
a miracle,
times ten.
You have blessed my life in,
so many ways I can't begin,
to thank you for all that you've done.
You have been my sun.

But now we must go our own ways,
there is a path we have to pave,
you on yours,
and me on mine,
I will remember you,
for all time.

This path has been a great one,
but this path's time is done.
I think and ask why,
the answer is,
this:
Goodbye.

The Beauty of Procrastination....

2009-06-01T10:21:00.002-04:00

If ya'll couldn't tell...I'm being utterly sarcastic here. So, thanks to procrastination, while everyone's having a GREAT first day of summer....I am sitting here (in the library) doing schoolwork. Yeah...that's so my idea of summer. Well, I have to say...it is my fault. Hopefully, I'll fix it sooner than later! :)

"Procrastination is the thief of time."-Anon.

Yep...Definitely.

2009-05-30T22:56:00.002-04:00

"Well, I just saw Hailey's Comet,
Shooting,
Said why you always running in place?
Even the Man in the Moon,
Disappeared,
Somewhere in the Stratosphere.

Tell my mother,
Tell my father,
I've done the best I can,
To make them realize,
This is my life.
I hope they understand,
I'm not angry,
I'm just saying,
Sometimes goodbye is a Second Chance."
"Second Chance"-Shinedown

I'm not sure why this song stood out to me today, I just know it did. Probably because with everyone around me graduating and moving on...I started thinking about MY future..."my life". What am I going to do with it? I mean, it's pretty simple to decide what you want to be "when I grow up". But what, exactly, do you want to DO with your life?

"What you are is not who you are."-Anon.

I guess that's my point. Everyone's so concentrated on what they want to be that they forget what's really important. Who they want to be. You could be the smartest, richest person in the world, but if you don't have a good....character...a good...countenance...then who are you really? You're not anything important. You can have all the degrees in the world...but is that what really matters?

I know this really doesn't coordinate with the lyrics I have above, but this has been bothering me for some time now. People are always so concentrated on looking "good" in front of everyone else. (Yes, I am guilty of this too.) But if you aren't really good...that will show. It's kinda like the whole "wolf in sheep's clothing" thing. Someone who's not good can seem good in public...but what about the day they let their facade slip? Then everyone will know.

Why be fake when you can be real? Why be "bad" when you can be "good"? Why try to have "fun" now, when you have the opprotunity to have joy for eternity? Why take the Devil's noose when you can have God's arm? My point is, people, is that everyone needs to stop being so...fake...all the time. If you have the opprotunity to be smart, be rich, get a Ph.D....then do it. But why not do it...and build your spirit at the same time? And even if you can't get all the above...maybe you're a blue-collar worker who went to a tech school...there's nothing, I repeat, NOTHING wrong with that. As long as you do what you know you're supposed to. Human beings aren't "stupid." Stupid, in my opinion, is SO overrated. No one...NO ONE...is truly stupid...UNLESS they make bad decisons over and over again...on purpose. But as long as one is striving and trying to be the person they know they should be...Then they can't go wrong.

Mmk ya'll. Little rant there. I get going and I don't stop. But that's fine with me. I'm not going to apologize. Cause I'm not sorry. I just hope I made sense....somehow. Anyways...Love ya'll.

Untold...

2009-05-30T19:20:00.004-04:00

What does the future hold?
Is it worth more than diamonds and gold?
What is in store?

For some, it's just a chance,
to start their long dance,
of life and death.

For others, maybe success,
at something which they do their best.
Hard work is in their life.

"What does my future hold?"
The question that graces every mind,
of students waiting in line,
to walk across that stage.
They turn another page.
The future of their life begun,
not sure of what's to come.
What does the future hold?

The future is Untold.

Dedicated to the Class of 09. Congrats!

2009-05-29T14:31:00.006-04:00

"Another turning point,
a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist,
directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test,
and don't ask why.
It's not a question,
but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable,
but in the end it's right,
I hope you had the time of your life."
"Time Of Your Life"- Green Day

Many humans are afraid of change. Change brings new and unexpected things. Why do we fear what's ahead? Maybe...because we're uncertain we will be successful.

I ask this because in approximately 13 hours, the graduates of CHS and LEHS will be marching. Marching to graduate. Marching...to their future.

My friends, my family. Starting their new lives...with those steps.

"Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So...get on your way."- Theodor Seuss Geisel (Dr. Seuss)

Congratulations, Class of 09!

2009-05-27T16:21:00.005-04:00

Heartbreak is a gift,
unseen as it may be,
it makes you look at you,
and who you're meant to be.

It tells you, you must grow,
and not to be pushed low.
It tells you to stand tall,
even when you're feeling small.

It tells you to accept the pain,
to run from it is in vain.
Life is full of darkness,
but you must push through with happiness.

Slowly, the heartbreak takes,
and forms your life,
and you realize,
there is no more strife.
That this heartbreak that seemed to kill you,
seems to be the only way to heal too.

Eventually, I see,
this hidden gift,
God gave to me.
Through the pain and ache,
of seething heartbreak,
He showed me His divine way,
and who I need to be today.

Heartbreak is a gift,
unseen as it may be,
it makes me lift my hands and thank,
God for finding me.

2009-05-26T19:53:00.002-04:00

Inspired by,
a simple line,
or two, of poetry,
I want to make,
my thoughts known,
to the world outside,
of me.

The world,
it seems,
so left behind,
and confused in,
all the rush,
I wonder why,
it,
can't slow down,
it seems it might,
bust.

This panting of,
the world,
it seems,
like a tired, ancient,
dog,
who has seen,
it's better days,
and pleads to,
give it up.

We can't just sit,
and let,
the world fly by,
we must try,
try and do an act,
an act to save,
this floundering fish,
laying out,
and dry.

I want to see,
I want to hear,
I want to feel,
I need to be near,
a quiet wood,
a heart,
so good,
something calm,
and sweet,
not like,
me.

I was inspired,
by a simple line,
or two of poetry.
It said, in my history book,
"don't you,
agree,
with me?"
It's words were simple,
yet said so much,
I quote them here,
for you:
"To live in the world
is sad enough without this rain
pounding on my shelter"
I quote the great Sogi,
and his simple,
Haiku.

Miracles Never Cease...

2009-05-26T19:45:00.003-04:00

That about says it all...I thought that it would take me an extremely long amount of time to get over all this pain. And while I'm still not completely over it, God is helping to heal my heart. It seems that (finally) everything is going to be all right. The sun really will break through the clouds and the rain. "...And then may God grant unto you that your burdens may be light, through the joy of his Son..." Alma 33:23

Thank You...

2009-05-21T15:18:00.003-04:00

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has supported me and keeps supporting me through this tough time. It means a lot to me...more than I can say. Thanks for your words of advice and comfort. Hopefully, I can get through this sooner than later. Thanks for understanding! Ya'll have been my rays of sunshine through this storm. Please, keep the advice coming and please pray for me. I love you all!

Blessings....

2009-05-20T21:19:00.002-04:00

Tonight, I am just soooooo happy I did the right thing yesterday! I got my temple interview for our youth temple trip tomorrow night...and they actually sat us down one by one this time and asked us each all the questions. I was soooo happy that I was able (because of the decision I made yesterday) that I could answer each question with a clear conscience and be worthy to go to the temple! I just thank God that He gave me the strength to do the right thing!

Let It Go...

2009-05-20T11:39:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, I did one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life. But afterwards, surprisingly, I felt good. I knew I had done the right thing. And that, even though it would take some time, everything would be ok. But then I woke up this morning...and the reality of the consequences from doing what was right crashed down on me. I did what was right...but I didn't necessarily want to. And so this morning, I thought of all the things I had to give up. But that's how the Devil works. He makes it seem as if we had just stayed in doing what's wrong...everything would be better. But I know that's not true. Still, it was hard for me to get up and get going. And then, I found this song.

Every night I lie awake,

My thoughts rolling in,

Love is won, love is lost,

And loves that might have been,

I see the ghost of long, lost hope,

And shattered broken dreams,

I know it's time,

To carry on,

It's harder than it seems,

I gotta let it go, all the pain and thrive,

I gotta let it go, and move on with my life,

I gotta let it go, it's time to let it be,
I gotta let it go, and then I can be free.

The times gone by,I can't deny,

They've left their mark on me,

Don't understand the master plan,

That only God can see,

I need to know, I wanna go,

And lock it all inside,

I wonder why and say goodbye,

And gather up my pride.

I gotta let it go, all the pain and thrive,

I gotta let it go, and move on with my life,

I gotta let it go, it's time to let it be,

I gotta let it go, and then I can be free.

I know I have the will to carry on,

Life's made me strong,

I've learned too much to turn my head away,

I'm gonna stay,

And brick by brick, I'll build my life again,

And I'll begin,

To learn from all of my mistakes,

Then let them fly away.

I gotta let it go,

I got to let it go,

I got to let it go.

Ohhh.

I gotta let it go,

I got to let it go,

I got to let it go.

Ohhh.

I gotta let it go, all the pain and thrive,

I gotta let it go, and move on with my life,

I gotta let it go, it's time to let it be,

I gotta let it go, and then I can be free.

"Let It Go" by Kyle (From Jump In!)

2009-05-19T13:55:00.002-04:00

I can hear the truck tires coming up the gravel road,
And it's not like her to drive that slow, nothing's on the radio,
Footsteps on the front porch, I hear my doorbell,
She usually comes right in, now I can tell,

Here comes goodbye,
Here comes the last time,
Here comes the start of every sleepless night,
The first of every tear I'm gonna cry,
Here comes the pain,
Here comes me wishing things had never changed,
And she was right here in my arms tonight,
But here comes goodbye,

I can hear her say "I love you" like it was yesterday,
And I can see it written on her face that she had never felt this way,
One day I thought I'd see her with her daddy by her side,
And violins would play Here Comes The Bride,

But here comes goodbye,
Here comes the last time,
Here comes the start of every sleepless night,
The first of every tear I'm gonna cry,
Here comes the pain,
Here comes me wishing things had never changed,
And she was right here in my arms tonight,
But here comes goodbye,

Why's it have to go from good to gone?
Before the lights turn on,
Yeah, and you're left alone,

Oh! But here comes goodbye! Oh!
Here comes goodbye,
Here comes the last time,
Here comes the start of every sleepless night,
The first of every tear I'm gonna cry,
Here comes the pain,
Here comes me wishing things had never changed,
And she was right here in my arms tonight,
But here comes goodbye...

"Here Comes Goodbye"-Rascall Flatts

Life...and Pain.

2009-05-18T21:47:00.003-04:00

Wow. Ya'll....I never realized how much God has given me until today. He gave me...life. He gave me the opprotunity to come to this earth and experience the joys and sorrows that come with mortality. Yes, the joys AND the sorrows. As humans, we look at pain as something to be avoided. Today, I finally realized that it is so true that without pain, we would not know joy. I have heard that my whole life but I never realized how true it was until today. Tommorrow is going to be a very painful day for me. I can't explain the details here...but I have to do something I know will cause me pain. I have to tell someone I love dearly, goodbye. But even though that will cause me a lot of pain and sadness, I know that if I lean on the Lord, I will get through this. He is there for me.

Unfortunately, a lot of the pain we humans go through is self-inflicted. It is our own faults most of the time. Such is the case with me. "Yea, I did remember all my sins and iniquities, for which I was tormented with the pains of hell; yea, I saw that I had rebelled against my God, and that I had not kept his holy commandments." (Alma 36:13) But God has made it possible for us to be rid of our pain and sorrow. For us to repent of our sins and return to Him. "And I trust, according to the Spirit of God which is in me, that I shall also have joy over you; nevertheless I do not desire that my joy over you should come by the cause of so much afflictions and sorrow which I have had for the brethren at Zarahemla, for behold, my joy cometh over them after wading through much affliction and sorrow." (Alma 7:5) After the pain comes the joy. "What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.;
In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me." (Psalms 56:3-4) I have put my trust in God...and I will make it through. God will not take our pain completely away, because we need to experience it, but He will make it easier for us to handle. He will make our burdens light. All He asks is that we lean upon Him and do what He asks of us. Not much is it? He has given us so much and yet He asks so little of us. Can't we give Him that?

"Almost There"...

2009-05-14T21:22:00.004-04:00

Ok...so yes, I put that in quotations. See, for all you TRUE Star Wars fans, remember in the *first* old one how the guy that's trying to blow up the Death Star is like "Almost there....almost there..."...and then he gets blown up. (I know...a little morbid...not my fault.) But anyways...that's how I feel right now about Carowinds and everything. Like, today, we finally convinced Ms. Pace to let us meet earlier. So yay there! But we are still waiting for the School Board to give us our money. We are "scheduled" to get it tomorrow...but who knows? Just keep praying ya'll pleassssseeeee. Maybe (I know this is corny), just maybe, we'll get successful like Luke.

1 DAY UNTIL CAROWINDS AND COMPETITION!!!!

WOOT WOOT!!!! Thanks for all your prayers!! (And for you Trekkies out there, "Live long and prosper..") (Mmm...saw the new Star Trek movie last weekend....it was SOOO good! Ya'll should totally go see it! Love ya!)

Keep it Coming...

2009-05-13T20:51:00.004-04:00

2 DAYS UNTIL *above* AND COMPETITION!!!

Hey people!!! Well, well, well. "Days go by, I can feel 'em flying like a hand out the window in the wind...." :) Time does seem to be flying away as I speak...write...whatever. But yeah....I'll go ahead and thank ya'll for your prayers! Keep em coming! For my foot....and that the School Board will give us our money by Friday! Oh...and that Ms. Pace will agree to us meeting at 7 AM. Anyways, today, I got the...umm...worst news. None of us will be performing individual numbers at our big performance. So while that takes pressure off of me and my foot...I am upset. I have been working my BUTT off trying to get this choreographed. ("Shadow Of The Day"-Linkin Park) And now, I won't even get to perform. This was also important to me because this is my last year of show choir. And this number was going to like my "goodbye" to everyone. And now I don't have the opprotunity. But you know? That's life...and life will move on. I'll get to perform sometime. At least I get to perform with the rest of the Show Choir. But, hopefully, the School Board will give us our money Friday. If not...who knows what will happen?! Please, please pray for us! Thanks to you all! Love ya!

Counting Down...

2009-05-12T21:06:00.004-04:00

3 DAYS UNTIL CAROWINDS AND COMPETITION!!!!

Wow....it's just getting closer and closer! This is sooo freaky! But I am soooo excited! Carowinds is going to be soooo much fun!

I do have to say that in all this excitement....and happiness...and more excitement....there is something that's scaring me. I have a sprain/stress fracture. In my foot. Metatarsal and my piggy toe. And with all the dancing we do in Show Choir...that's serious. Today, in practice, it started killing me about half way through. I wrapped it up but it still hurt. I would appreciate it a lot if ya'll would pray for me. I need prayers really bad. I not only have competition coming up...but I have to choreograph a whole 5 minute dance for our Big Show Choir Performance next Tuesday! (May 19th, 7:00 PM, Camden High Performing Arts Center) Not to complain...I don't want to sound whiny. But please, please pray for me! Thanks...

More Prom Photos...Make-Up And Hair...

2009-05-11T19:02:00.013-04:00

I know I'm belated about this...but I still have some coming! (And ya'll have asked for more...) :)

Beginning...

Singing...Of course...

Ta-da!!!

Countdown...

2009-05-11T18:57:00.003-04:00

4 DAYS UNTIL CAROWINDS AND COMPETITION!!

yay!!! I'm sooo excited! But so nervous at the same time! Last year didn't go so well...but this year we have a pretty big...and GOOD...group! So I'm hoping the judges will give us good scores! I mean, we don't have a Show Choir class like most schools do...but we've been working really hard and we sound pretty good. This is soooo exciting! And I mean, getting to go to Carowinds is pretty good in and of itself! But competing is actually a plus! Plus, I get to be with my friends all day long! Haha...YAY! ;)

Well Well Well...

2009-05-09T13:48:00.004-04:00

Ok people...I give myself FULL permission to complain a little here. So if you don't care for it....you'll just have to "suck it up" and get over it.

So...The Kershaw County Show Choir is supposed to be going to Carowinds in EXACTLY one week from today. (Well...7:00 this morning.) The only problem with that is....

The School Board won't give us our money.

Let me explain. You see, Mr. and Ms. Jowers so kindly donated 1,500 dollars to the Kershaw County Show Choir. For us to go to Carowinds and other expenses as needed. The School Board said they would hold on to it for Ms. Pace until she needed it. Well, seeing it's one week, we need it. And they wouldn't give it to her. That's only the beginning of our problems. Ends up that they tell Ms. Pace they will give her the money. But they still haven't. And we were supposed to get new dresses with that money. We ordered the dresses...but they still won't give us the money. So in the end, Ms.
Pace has charged a total of over 1,000 dollars on her own credit card so we can get these things in time. Ends up we don't know when we are going to be getting these things exactly. And we don't know what exactly is going on with the School Board. So yes, we all are just slightly pissed. (I'm being very very sarcastic with the "slightly".)

You know what I hate? Our government is so...sickening nowadays. They're all so extremely full of themselves. They don't give a crap about us "little people" who are SUPPOSED to be making the decisions. Everything is so wrong now. We all go to the theaters to see movies like Eagle Eye and The Dark Knight and those...but we don't realize how close those are to reality. Me and my brother, Tony were talking about this once. In the movie Eagle Eye (good movie by the way), there's this machine that watches and hears everything that is said and done all over the United States. It's tracking everyone. And it's been designed by the government. And they think it's a good thing. But it ends up being the worst thing. It gets many innocent people killed and almost carries out a plan (that it devised) to assasinate the President and all the important people in the government. My point? The government has things just like this. And we don't realize it. When you get on your computer and it's going really slow, and you just think that it's because of your service or whatever, not so true. The government tracks computers. Everyone's. That's a invasion of our own privacy. But my point was, Tony pointed something out to me. If they can come up with all this technology for these movies, they probably have it or something very similar already. Everything is so, so twisted now. The people who are supposed to representing the people of America are just these sick-minded and rich jerks who spend all the money we give them on their whores and beer and rich wine and their expensive computers and blackberrys and cars. We are the ones doing the hard work, while they just sit back and feed off of us. It's like the fable of the Grasshopper and the Ant. The ants do all the hard work during the summer while the Grasshopper just spends his time skipping around and lounging around. Then, when winter comes and the Grasshopper is starving and has nothing to eat, he expects the ants to come to his rescue. Our government is not a democracy anymore. The government the good men of 1783 set up is gone. We are being used.

"...Overseas, yeah, we tryin' stop terrorism, but we still got terrorists here livin' in the USA, the big CIA, the Bloods and the Crips, and the KKK..."
("Where Is The Love" by The Black-Eyed Peas)

Mmm...Am I Smart Or What??!

2009-05-07T15:52:00.006-04:00

Goodness Gracious. I suppose we all have our.....um...shall we say...slow...moments. (Some more often than others. *cough* me *cough*) Anywho, I definitely had a "slow" moment yesterday. You see...me being the dancer...and moderate (emphasis on MODERATE) daredevil I am....ok...I'll admit it. I am just plain stupid sometimes. Anyways, yesterday during Show Choir, I decided I would be very very smart. So, I was up on the stage (which is like four feet off the ground, mind you) and I decided I would jump off. Well......

FAIL.

Never...NEVER....NEVER...NEVER...do an entrechat off something four feet off the ground. Or for that matter, just don't do it off of anywhere BUT the ground! It's an EXTREMELY bad idea. Luckily for me, I didn't break my foot....just about killed it though. We're not sure what exactly is wrong with it. Obviously, I landed on it hard enough to make it painful to walk...or stand...or anything. And we have PLENTY of Show Choir performances coming up (one today! oh killjoy...) and I have to get to work on some choreography. Kinda hard to do that when you can't point your foot....much less even stand.

Yeah....I'll admit it. Sometimes...Well, a LOT of the time...I can be pretty stupid.

Little Note on My Birthday....

2009-05-04T08:25:00.000-04:00

Francis: Today's my birthday and my father says I can have anything I want.
Pee-wee: Good for you and your father.
Francis: So guess what I want.
Pee-wee: A new brain?
Francis: No. Your bike!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO.....

2009-05-04T08:04:00.005-04:00

.......

ME!!!!!

Hah....one year older....oh killjoy. Time just seems to be flying by. It seems like it was just yesterday that I turned twelve and was a new little beehive. And now I'm sixteen and a laurel! Time is just going by without me realizing it! (I guess that's the whole point of this blog...hah.) But yay! Happy Birthday to meeeee!

Prom 2009: My Life-Saver!!

2009-05-02T18:07:00.002-04:00

My Lifesaver, Mother Laresa! Thanks a BILLION for doing my hair! Girl TIME! :)

PROM 2009!!

2009-05-02T17:55:00.008-04:00

Yesterday was Prom!! I had sooooo much fun! Thought I would put up some pictures for ya'll!

Me and JP being freaks beforehand...Ha ha.

"Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead." -Anon.

2009-04-25T10:39:00.002-04:00

I woke up this morning not wanting to get out of bed. We all have those days...I just felt like laying in bed...all day long. I have to admit, my outlook on life was not very good. I was a little angry...and sad. I felt like, "Why can't life just move on?" I just wanted to be left alone. And have my own time to be sad. But then I realized, "Life's too short to be sad..." I decided that life has to be taken as it comes...and even when it goes a different way than the was we want it to, we have to keep going anyways.
"You wake up in the morning, and lo! your purse is magically filled with twenty-four hours of the magic tissue of the universe of your life. No one can take it from you. No one receives either more or less than you receive. Waste your infinitely precious commodity as much as you will, and the supply will never be withheld from you. Moreover, you cannot draw on the future. Impossible to get into debt. You can only waste the passing movements. You cannot waste tomorrow. It is kept for you." -Arnold Bennet

So true! Everyone receives twenty-four hours. How we decide to spend those hours, however, is up to us. God blesses us with every morning we wake up to. But some of us waste those hours being angry or sad...or just not appreciating life for what it really is. And then, before we know it, we don't have any twenty-four hours coming to us anymore. They're gone. And we're dead. We don't have time to go back and say we're sorry. We don't have time to go back and make that phone call. We don't have time to go back and spend time with the people we love. We're gone. We have to take the time now. We don't have time to waste it.

"The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live." -Joan Borysenko

How will we choose to live? What will we spend our time on? Will we choose to be selfish with our time, to only look back and see what we could have done? Will we choose to be giving, and look back and see what we did? Will we be ashamed? Will we be proud?

Overcome...

2009-04-24T11:07:00.003-04:00

I thought that hiding all my feelings,
Was protecting my heart,
So I never built anything,
High enough to fall apart,
And what I was looking for,
Didn't know where to start,
I can't believe this is happening,

The day I met you,
I said welcome to the rest of my life,
Cause you created a new me,
And all the emptiness died,
I was afraid to give love another try,
Oh I can't believe this is happening,

I know that this might get me in trouble,
But it's time I let my defenses down,
Cause I am no longer afraid of a struggle,
Oh, I've overcome,
I've overcome,

Guess I'm addicted to happiness,
I just can't get enough,
So I decided to give up pride, and,
Surrender my trust,
I've got no choice left,
But to believe in us,
And finally this is happening,

I know that this might get me in trouble,
But it's time I let my defenses down,
Cause I am no longer afraid of a struggle,
Oh, I've overcome,
I've overcome,

I finally let myself go,
I let all my guards down,
Baby I'm yours now,
You're in control,
I took the chains off my soul,
And now I'm in love,

I know that this might get me in trouble,
But it's time I let my defenses down,
Cause I am no longer afraid of a struggle,
Oh, I've overcome,
I've overcome...

"Overcome" By Jordin Sparks

Full Circle...

2009-04-23T16:09:00.005-04:00

It's said that everything comes full circle. I never realized how true this is until today. The Kershaw County Show Choir is having their big concert May 19!!! Ms. Pace gave us members the opprutunity to perform something during the show. And I, of course, am going to dance. So, I started looking for a song to choreograph. I started out with Josh Groban's "So She Dances". Then I decided that wasn't what I wanted to do. So I moved on to another song by Josh Groban, "February Song". But that just didn't seem right either. So I moved on to Miley Cyrus's "The Climb" from the Hannah Montana movie. But that wasn't right either. Then, I started looking at other songs. I looked at "Every Day" by Rascall Flatts, "With Arms Wide Open" by Creed, "If You're Not The One" by Daniel Bedingfield, and many many others. But none of them seemed right. So, finally, I put Josh Groban on again. I was determined to listen to every song in English until I found a song I felt...spoke to me. But something directed me to one song in particular. I listened to it...and read the lyrics....and it fit how I was feeling and what I wanted to express to the audience so well.

It's funny how things come in full circle. But sometimes, just like with dating and shopping, you just need to look at what else is out there...but you always come back to what's right for you. You just need to realize what you love about it. In this case, I definitely did.

2009-04-23T08:08:00.002-04:00

Miley Cyrus - The Climb lyrics

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb (yeah)

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb (yeah yeah ea ea)

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

Whoa a oh oh



Lyrics | Miley Cyrus lyrics - The Climb lyrics

Prama...

2009-04-21T13:25:00.003-04:00

I love that phrase. "Prama" Found it on About.com's Prom/Formal Dances page. It's soooo true. This will be my first year going to prom....and wow, I never knew it was this difficult! I always thought prom was so simple. The girls get a pretty dress and do their hair and nails and make-up a little different...and the guys throw on a tux. Well, somebody says "Would you go to Prom with me?"....and all of a sudden...all this "Prama" surrounds you. The dress, the accessories, the make-up, the hair, the shoes, the nails, the food, the flowers, the ride....everything! And time just seems to fly by. Before you know it, you have two weeks, and nothing seems to be coming together. The corsage and boutonniere aren't ordered...you have no idea where you're going to eat...it just seems like nothing's going to work. But somehow, somehow, you know it's all going to. I mean, it's prom, right?! It's the dream night!

Guess now it's official,
Can't back out, can't back out,No!
Gettin ready (gettin ready, oh)
For the night of nights
The night of nights (all right)

Don't panic.Panic!

Now do we have to dress up for the Prom?
Dude, I don't think we have the choice.

Yeah it's the night of all nights,
Got to look just right,
Dressing to impress the boys,

Do I want classic or vintage or plaid?
Where's the mirror?
I think this tux is too baggy, Too tight, it makes me look weird,
Should I go movie star, glamorous, sassy or sweet?
Don't know, but no one better wear the same dress as me!
It's the night of our nightmares (it's the night of our dreams)
It's too late to back out of this (hey!)
Makeovers, massages
Don't know what a corsage is
Been waiting all our lives for this

It's gonna be a night (can't wait)
To remember (aw man)
Come on now!
Big fun (all right)
It's gonna be the night (I guess)
To last forever (lucky us)
We'll never ever ever forget!

Hmm..That's how it seems so far....

Back To "Normal"...or not..

2009-03-24T21:01:00.002-04:00

I've heard that "Normal is just a setting on the dryer." So I suppose it's not really appropriate to say that mylife is back to "normal". I mean, who ever really has a normal life? Although my life is less hectic now that the play is over, it's not quite back to where it was. It's amazing how the arts can affect your life. This time, they affected mine for good. I made so many new friends and had so any great experiences that I never want to forget. And I hope I never will. I mean, the theme of the play, in and of itself, affected how I see life. The whole theme of Our Town is realizing how wonderful life is. And how we, as we are living, don't grasp that fact. In the third act, Simon Stimson angrily tells Emily how the living waste time, trampling on the feelings of others and existing in a self-centered world of “ignorance and blindness.” Most times this is true. But on the other hand, life is a wonderful thing. It's a gift. Shouldn't we all treat it all as so?

"We're done...but it's not over.."

2009-03-14T12:35:00.004-04:00

A line from one of my favorite songs, "Our Time Is Here", by the Camp Rock Cast. It explains exactly how I feel. Today will be the last performance of Our Town. We (the cast) will never be able to participate in another play together; so many people are graduating. I will miss everyone so much. But at the same time, it's not over. We have made so many great friendships that we are determined to keep.
The arts are amazing. They bring people together in ways that don't seem possible. We have so many people from different backgrounds in our cast, but amazingly, we all get along. We all love each other so much. I think we have been so successful because of that. Our play has touched so many people. I believe the audience can feel the love and care that we have for each other. They can feel that we aren't just "acting" like we care, we truly do. It's truly a miracle.

I love you all:

Jordan
Kaleigh
Carley
Jonathan
Jessica
Cory
Michaela
Sam
Daquan
Tony
Austin
Gil
Abby
Erika
Kayla
Raya
Kenya
Shiela
Yamen
Tiffany
Brittany
Nicole
Terrence
Michael
Ella
Erica
Katy
Chelsey
Terek
Zil
Cramer
and of course,
last,
but not least,
Ms. Beasley.

Thank you all. I love you!

Whew....haven't been this stressed in a while...

2009-03-09T20:24:00.002-04:00

It's scary how fast time goes when you're in a play. Good gracious, Our Town....Talk about stress! And I'm not even one of the actors! I am the "dancer"...I dance at the beginning and ending of the play. I actually have a very important part. I set the "tone" for the whole entire play. But back to why I'm stressed. We have been improving A LOT through the last few weeks...and now that it's the WEEK OF THE SHOW...everything's falling apart. It's not working the way it's supposed to. Tonight, the whole technical aspect was off....which threw all of the actors off. Which is aggravating. And then our set crew wouldn't be quiet backstage. After many dance recitals going off without much of a hitch, (ok..maybe there was one...or two....or ten..), it's very frustrating. Sometimes, I just feel like going up to the Director and being like, "Can I just do it myself?" But I can't do that. And I feel so helpless for that reason. And a lot of the others are feeling this way. One of the guys, after we had stopped, he was standing there...and I could see that he was feeling the same way I was. When something goes wrong, I tend to feel like it's my job to fix it...not job...but RESPOSIBILITY. I LOVE performing...don't get me wrong. But part of me just feels like it should be going better. I'm hoping it will work out before long. At least by dress rehearsal! "/ Well....we'll see. March 12-14!

Me and music...

2009-02-21T19:17:00.007-05:00

I found this picture that I always called my album cover...and I finally made it into one!

I just love music and I think it would be wonderful to one day become a singer. But, it's all up to God, not me. For now, I'll just stick to listening and singing for fun..as well as with my fabulous friends. Music is so wonderful. Music is my life. I always tell people that I wish life was a musical...because it would make life so much easier. Music can communicate things that words cannot.

"Music, because of its specific and far-reaching metaphorical powers, can name the unnamable and communicate the unknowable." -Leonard Bernstein

Music...is the key to the heart. As Pau (Pablo) Casals said : "Music is the divine way to tell beautiful, poetic things to the heart." Music speaks directly to the heart. I talk to so many people and they think it's amazing when someone can sing well or play an instrument. Probably because music pulls on one's heartstrings and makes them feel things words cannot.

Music is the pathway to one's soul.